Dec 11, 2007

It’s like she knew.

I am feeling special tonight. I feel a little like my Princess blessed this baby.

Early in November, I was having a rough day. I never told Princess, she doesn't need to know when Mommy is upset like that. But that night, she randomly for the first time in the five months since the miscarriage walked up and kissed my belly before going to bed. It was sweet and heart breaking.

A day or two before I found out that I was pg again, she was obviously thinking about Daniella because she looked at me and asked, "What was the baby's name mommy?" She hadn't asked since the miscarriage but she had been obsessed with coming up with one when I was pg. I told her that the baby's name was, "Daniella" and she said, "Naniella? That's pretty." and she was satisfied with that. It is funny how out of the blue she was thinking about the baby again and then I find out that I am pg.

Next month would have been when Daniella was due. I would have been holding her in my arms and loving her. It feels like since she couldn't be here for me to love, she sent me a new little one to love. Like this baby is a gift from her. I know that is all my mind, but that is what it feels like.

It sort of feels like this baby was born out of love, from me and Prince Charming, from Princess's kiss on my belly in the month the baby was conceived, to Daniella being due so soon. With so much love, I am going to hold on tight and keep this little blessed bundle of joy as safe as I can.

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