Dec 18, 2014

Leaving?


I have written about this before, but I was reminded how sensitive my Princess Magpie truly is.  Ever since Princess Snifflefritz was born when Princess Magpie was only 17 months old, Princess Magpie has been insecure about her place in our home.  I try to make sure she knows that she is special and loved.  But for some reason, she isn't always confident about it.


So today when Princess Snifflefritz came down crying because Princess Magpie was leaving, (after reassuring Princess Snifflefritz that no one was going anyway) we called Princess Magpie to come and talk to us.  She came down wearing a backpack as well as carrying a basket and a little suitcase.  She had decided that we didn't want her live here any more and she was going to leave.

On top of being a little sad she felt that way, I was also baffled.  She hadn't gotten in trouble, she was contentedly playing in the classroom when she went upstairs and packed.

We talked to her and asked her why she felt that way and she said because she gets in trouble sometimes.  I told her that she was six years old and every six year old gets in trouble sometimes but that we will ALWAYS want her and she can live with us forever if she wants.  I talked about how she was the only girl just like her in our family and how I waited a LONG time to have her and how special she was and how grateful I was to have her.
 

After lots of talking and hugs, she seemed to feel better and after cuddling for a while she carried
  • her backpack filled with her pillow and her teddy, 
  • her basket with her favorite dress 
  • and her little suitcase with a change of clothes, 
all back to her room.

I LOVE my girl, she is a sweet, funny, caring, tough, gentle, Tomboy princess and I wouldn't have her any other way.  I just wish she knew how special she truly is.

Throwback Thursday

Tots and Me

I went back to late December 2010 for my Throwback Thursday Post today.

Princess Snifflefritz turned one year old this year and she was sooo sweet!

Princess Magpie was 2 1/2 years old (a little younger than Little Prince is now) and she wasn't all that interested in having pictures taken. 


Princess Belle was an almost 9 year old dedicated big sister.

THIS is why I call her Princess Pout because nobody can pout quite like Princess Magpie.





#TBT 

Dec 17, 2014

Enough

It's funny to think that there is this person who:
  • never talks to me, 
  • barely looks at me, 
  • ignores me most of the time, 
  • routinely kicks my face when I am changing him
  • shows almost no affection
And yet, I absolutely and completely adore this little person more than I can ever express.  Little Prince means so very much to me and even if he can't tell me, I know he loves and needs me.


You know why I know?  Because:
  • when he wakes up crying at night, it is me he needs to help him calm down.
  • when he is scared, he grabs at my shirt and desperately clings to me.
  • when I touch his face or his head, he grins before he pulls away.
  • He is content to play and laugh to himself when he is simply playing near us. (I actually don't know if this one means he loves me, but I LOVE to hear him laugh)
This little person, who on the surface seems to want nothing more than to be left alone, shows me that he loves and needs me in the only ways he can.  And that's good enough for me.

Wordless Wednesday: Princess Snifflefritz

Stacy

Click the pic above to get to other Wordless Wednesday Participants or go check out the following links:



Dec 16, 2014

Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies


  • 1c natural peanut butter
  • 1 egg
  • 2 donks stevia
  • 1/2tsp baking soda
  • 1/2tsp baking powder
  • 1/4tsp salt
  • 1tsp pure vanilla
  1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Mix all ingredients well in bowl. 
  3. Dip out on lightly greased cookie sheet and press with fork. 
  4. Bake 11-12 minutes.

THM S
Makes 12

Naughty and Nice (or maybe . . . Good and Bad)


  1. Good and bad -- okay, so the plumber came and fixed the leak but now we have a giant hole in our ceiling with no hint as to when it will be fixed.
  2. Bad -- Someone else's stuff accidentally got charged to my bank account (not their fault) and now my shopping trip with the girls had to be postponed, *sigh*
  3. Good -- Little Prince has let me sleep a few nights in a row and I am EVER so grateful
  4. Good -- Prince Charming's lost friend was not only found but spent three days visiting with us and the girls.
  5. Good -- I have watched a bunch of different versions of "A Christmas Carol" and I love them all.
  6. Bad -- I tried to watch the Disney version and my DVR ate it or something and I couldn't watch it.
  7. Bad -- I lost Little Prince's favorite movie, Elmo's Christmas Countdown last year in the move and I haven't been able to find it airing this year.  :( boo
  8. Good -- I organized my fridge today and it looks great.  
  9. Good -- Prince Charming gave my little drummer girl Princess Snifflefritz a set of drum sticks.
  10. Bad -- I have had a headache for three days and I guess that may be making me grouchy and may be making the drum sticks a little less than fun for me.  
  11. Good -- I am experimenting with orange peels, cloves, and cinnamon sticks simmering in the slow cooker to make our house smell good. 
  12. Good and Bad -- I have been off my diet for this month as I haven't wanted to spend the extra money on myself and my diet but I am going back on Trim Healthy Mama in January and Prince Charming and the family will be at least eating THM friendly recipes for dinners.  
  13. Good -- Little Prince is a man of routine and likes things done the same way every time and he doesn't really like hugs.  But I am a smart mama and I have used his love of routine to work several hugs into each of our days.  Every time I change his diaper, I stand him up and hugs him and every time we carry him to bed, we hug him.  He is used to it and even wraps his arms around us in anticipation.  I LOVE those little arms and those hugs are precious.

Dec 15, 2014

Get Over It.

Okay, I am over it.  I know that specialists and questions are why I am here.  I want questions asked and answered so that I can get my boy the help he needs.  I am just sensitive sometimes and I need to get over it.  It is silly to let the very questions that they need to ask me, make me tense and stressed.  I need to pull up my big pants, and simply give the specialists all the info they need to help him.  I need to believe in them, that they are there to help and they are not there to sit in judgement of me.  Quite simply, I need to get over it.

It's Silly

I got a call regarding Little Prince today.  The developmental clinic wanted me to answer some questions regarding his early development and his language regression.  I find it so stressful to answer those types of questions.  I feel like I am being tested on things he did 2 years ago and if I answer wrong, I am going to be in trouble, like his autism diagnosis will be my fault.  By the time I got off the phone, I just wanted to cry.

I want to answer correctly, but I don't know.  I don't know if he suddenly stopped saying the two or three words he said or if it was gradual.  I just know that I looked up one day and realized I hadn't heard him say any words for a long time.

I don't know if he woke up one and stopped looking at us and interacting with us, I just know that one day I realized that he wasn't paying attention to the rest of us.  All I really know is that I thought he was a regular little boy and then one day I realized that maybe he wasn't.

When they ask if he was sick, or injured or if anything sudden happened to him, it feels like they are saying that I did something wrong and I caused him to be this way. I am afraid to accidentally say the wrong thing because what if that means they give him the wrong diagnosis.

I know it is silly to stress myself out this way, I guess it is because somewhere in the back of my mind, in the deepest, darkest recesses of my heart, I am afraid that something I did, caused my little boy to be this way.  In my soul, I am afraid that a mistake I made may have doomed my boy to a lifetime of difficulties and I know it would break my heart if I ever found out that I did this to him.

The thing is he went from taking pictures like this:


To taking pictures like this (and I can't pinpoint exactly when that happened):



Dec 14, 2014

Different

I have been thinking.  Thinking about Little Prince and how I parent him differently than my three older girls.



You see I believe in taking into account intentions when I speak to my kids.  So they don't get into trouble for things they didn't mean to do and I like to use humour to diffuse situations when I can.  To me, this makes our home a relaxed and happy place to be. 

So with Little Prince, this means that I let him away with things, I wouldn't have let the girls get away with.  For example, he is almost three years old and when I change his diaper, it is like a circus act.  Arms and legs are going in 8 directions at once.  As Prince Charming says, "It is like trying to wrestle an octopus."  When the girls were this age, they knew better.  I would have rebuked them and told them to be still while I changed them.  But, due to his autism, I really believe his crazy antics aren't on purpose.  When he kicks me in the head while I am changing him, it isn't on purpose.  My head just happened to get in the way of where he was planning to fling his foot next.  I just try to learn to bob and weave, control one body part at a time, and duck out of the way of flying feet.

The other day, I got him up as usual.  I changed him as usual, successfully ducking flailing limbs and stood him up to put him in his high chair for his snack and I realized that I hadn't moved the chair over to where I was as I usually do.  So that is where I strayed from our usual schedule, I put him in daddy's arms for a minute and went to get his chair.  He flipped out.  He was shaking, crying, flailing to get back to my arms.  It wasn't being daddy's arms, it was that this is not how we do it.  This is not the time that he goes to daddy's arms, daddy's arms are where he goes when he gets carried to his room or when it is time to get tickled.  This is the time he goes to his chair and he seemed actually scared by the change. 

So, I got his chair and brought it over but before I could put him in it, I had to calm him down, I had to snuggle him, reassuring him that it was going to be okay.  When the shaking stopped and he calmed down, I put him in his chair and he settled down with his snack.  I wasn't mad, or upset with him.  I know he was simply upset by the change and it isn't his fault.  My only thought was that I wanted to make it better for him.  If the girls had flipped out over something so simple, I would have spoken to them.  I would have told them it would only be a minute and I probably would have joked with them that being upset over something so little is silly.

It is different with him, I always try to be a pretty understanding mama, because of his autism, I cut him even more slack.  I don't get frustrated or upset when he gets overwhelmed, throws a tantrum, or cries for no apparent reason.  I snuggle, I reassure, I don't always know how to fix it, but I always try to fix it for him with love and a little extra understanding.  I am overwhelmingly in love with my little boy and my only wish is to make his world a little easier for him to deal with. 

Gratitude Sunday

Gratitude Sunday
Sunday's heart felt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.

Here are some things I am grateful for this week:

1. My kids excitedly opening their advent calendars.

2. A wondeful birthday for Prince Charming. 

3. Knowing that our friend is safe and sound being lucky enough to have him spend a couple of days with us after him being missing for a LONG time.

4. Christmas movies with my babies.
 

 5. I am even grateful for the leaky pipes in my ceiling because it waited until after Prince Charming's birthday and it sprung a leak where it could do no damage to our furniture.  It could have been so much worse.